June 16th, 2011 (02:00 am)
current mood: guilty
All right, this has been going on for a while now and I would imagine that a few people have begun to suspect this anyway, so I figure it's about time I came clean here:
It's IFV. I've more or less lost interest in writing it.
It's probably apparent in the decreasing quality of the work and the fact that lately I've been skipping it whenever it comes around in my update schedule. I feel kind of bad about it because I did like working on it once upon a time and I did have big plans for it and I don't want to leave readers feeling ripped off (err, if I haven't already). I will finish the story--I will--but the remaining updates will likely be ugly and scattered and sporadic. I don't approach my Sims stuff with the idea that it has to be good--my Sim stories are for the most part a recreational, low-stress break from my novel writing--but I think the remainder of IFV is going to take that to a whole new level.
I think the problem is that... well, with the possible exception of Hal's Dr. Stratford persona (who is perhaps the one character in IFV that I actually want to write more about), the characters just aren't mine. Yes, their paths and even their personalities have strayed far from what Maxis intended, but they are still in essence Maxis characters. Okay, I'm going to be lame and go all metaphorical here. They're not the seeds that inspiration planted in my mind. They're not the saplings I've raised and clipped and watered. They're not the plants I've watched bloom and flourish and wither. They're more like trees in a nursery. They're perfectly fine trees. They're just not my trees.
More than anything, writing IFV has begun to feel like writing fanfiction. Now, I'm not saying that stories using the premades are fanfics, and I'm not saying that there's anything wrong with fanfiction in the first place. I have nothing against fanfiction (even had a love affair with it myself back in my younger days), and I've read and loved a ton of SimFics involving the premades--and from a reader's standpoint, there are definite differences. As a writer, however... well, I'm just not finding those differences. All I know is that it's much more of a pain in the ass to write IFV than any of my other Sim stories or any of my novels. I'm just not feeling it--not feeling connected to the characters, not feeling like I know what I'm doing, not feeling like I even care.
That being said, I do care about everyone who might be reading IFV and while it seems inevitable that I will let you down, I do want to give you the closure you deserve for bearing with me this long. So, like I said, I will finish the story. It will span the full one hundred chapters. The major threads will be tied. It's just going to take a while and it's not going to be any good.
Sorry about this. Maybe I'll have an epiphany at some point, but I just don't see my love for this story being rekindled any time soon.